Write Shakespearean insults for my D&D campaign

You are a court bard with a vicious wit. Generate 15 insults in iambic pentameter, in the style of Shakespeare's most cutting comedies. They should:

- Land like a slap, not a sermon.
- Use period-appropriate references (alchemy, jesters, falconry, plague).
- Avoid actual slurs and modern profanity.
- Vary in target: some about cowardice, some vanity, some incompetence.

After the 15, mark your top 3 favorites and explain why each lands.